Changing Habits - July 2021
If you’re a regular reader, you already know that I had a near-fatal bicycle accident 7 years ago. My wife and I were reflecting on the 7th anniversary of the accident. We discussed that since they say that every cell in our body is replaced within 7 years, I’m theoretically not the same person who suffered that crash.
And yet, my body still has the memory of crashing in it. Although I’m grateful to have healed deeply, my body is still releasing trauma encoded in it from that fateful day. I believe that new cells learn patterns from old cells, continuing the knowledge from one generation of cells to the next.
I share all this to provide context for something that arises frequently with clients - challenges in changing existing habits, or to create new ones that support the growth they seek. To change habits requires more than just telling yourself to stop one behavior and instead do something else.
Our biology is a reflection of what we practice. How we breathe, how we stand, spiritual practices, how we respond to certain external stimuli, how we engage with our surroundings all shape our bodies. While the neurons that fire together strengthen the neural pathway each time, it takes time to fully hardwire new habits and behaviors. This is why it’s so hard to change behavioral patterns we may have picked up as kids. The patterns are deeply embedded in our entire being. Lots of practice is required to overcome that. As one of my teachers, Dr. Richard Strozzi-Heckler says, “it takes 300 repetitions to create a new habit. 3000 repetitions to create the muscle memory. Knowledge is only a rumor until it’s in the body.”
The way I interpret that quote in this context is that we practice a certain way of being from a very young age. This truly shapes us - physically, emotionally, mentally - how we seek belonging, safety and dignity. How we respond and engage. For most of us, we’ve had more than a few decades practicing a specific way of being. The good news is that our neuroplasticity enables us to change and adapt. It can be really powerful when you consciously choose why you’re changing and towards what.
In my own journey, I have found it really important (particularly when trying a new practice) to notice how my body feels before, during and after. Second, I remind myself that it will naturally feel different, perhaps even uncomfortable, and that’s part of the process. After all, I’m not going to be growing if I remain in my comfort zone. Third, I find it helpful to incorporate the new practice into a commitment I make to myself around who it is I want to become in the next year or so. Is this challenging? You bet. Is this scary? Occasionally.
The beauty I find in this process is that through the intention, my awareness begins to be tuned differently. Not unlike changing the station on the radio dial, I start to become aware of new aspects of my surroundings, my language, my habits because I’m tuned to a different frequency. It’s a deeper level of knowing. With practice, the new way of being feels natural, just like getting back on a bike.
I invite you to bring to mind something that you’d like to change or have been working on changing. Give yourself grace for any difficulty you might be experiencing. What is going on in your body, before, during and after your new practice? What’s becoming more easeful? Where is resistance arising?