Why the Body Comes First

Most leadership development starts with the mind: frameworks, strategies, better scripts for hard conversations. All of it useful. None of it reaches the place where leadership behavior actually originates under pressure. By the time you consciously register that a conversation has gone sideways, your body has already reacted (tightened, sharpened, gone quiet, started managing the room), instead of being in it. The insight is never the problem. Something else takes over when the pressure is real. Somatic coaching starts from that fact instead of working around it.

What "Somatic" Actually Means

Somatics is the study of the unity of language, action, feeling, and meaning; of whether what a person does under pressure actually lines up with what they say matters most to them.

What Body-First EQ Development Looks Like:

Body-first EQ development starts earlier in the sequence than the conventional model does. Instead of training leaders to name emotions after they've already shaped a decision or a tone of voice, it trains them to notice the physical precursors — the early signal — while there's still room to choose a different response.

There's a particular kind of professional pain that doesn't have a name. It's not failure. It's not burnout. It's the gap between the leader you intend to be and the one who actually shows up when the pressure is real. Most of us feel it. Almost none of us say it out loud.

This is a story about the time I felt it most clearly — and what it took to finally understand why.

I am on a journey, inquiring deeply about my lived trauma and my inherited trauma. I want to better understand who I am and how I walk through the world. I want to be able to deeply connect with myself. I want to embody “enoughness.”

This is the journey I invite my clients on. It’s one of deep inquiry and co-creation.

Have you been wondering what’s holding your leadership development back? Are you wondering what survival strategies might be at play in how you show up, and how you let others in? Are you wondering how these elements might even be impacting your organizational culture?

Letting go of old stories and old ways of being can be daunting and disorienting. It requires us to bring a beginner’s mindset to an unbounded space that opens the possibility of a new way of being in the world. What do you need to put down in order to pick up what you want?

What happens when companies revert back after professing to change culture to reflect core values? What signal does that send? What are the full costs to reverting back to old ways of being? What does that say about what's really important? What's at stake? Business continuity? Resilience? Now imagine if your company could be more profitable, more resilient if you put purpose and people first.

What would it be like if companies focused instead on investing in cultivating resilience, adaptability, and creativity amongst their people? What benefits might that create? This is what I call “Leaderful” teams. It’s a culture and an ethos built on trust, authenticity, transparency, generative feedback (requested and received by all), inclusion, and compassion. It’s modeled by those at the top of the organization and practiced throughout.

Recently in our Tango class, we focused on a particular piece of Tango vocabulary (for fellow Tangueros - barrida/arrastre con colgada) that I feel embodies much of the philosophy of the dance form - deep listening and collaboration, and living in a call and response relationship to your partner and the music. Tango is, after all, an improvisational dance. Just like leadership.

Curious about Somatic Coaching? Wondering about the benefits of this approach? This post will answer your questions and more.

8 years ago I almost died. This is the story of how perseverance enabled my recovery. These experiences support me in my mission to cultivate courageous leaders that regenerate their leadership by reconnecting to their innate wisdom and honoring their own unique gifts.

Is extra work, or rework, or confusion in your organization or on your team getting in the way of achieving revenue or cost savings goals? It might be you, not your team…

It’s astonishing to discover how much we armor ourselves. Sometimes we’re aware of the shields we put up. Sometimes we’re not.

Our biology is a reflection of what we practice. How we breathe, how we stand, spiritual practices, how we respond to certain external stimuli, how we engage with our surroundings all shape our bodies. While the neurons that fire together strengthen the neural pathway each time, it takes time to fully hardwire new habits and behaviors. This is why it’s so hard to change behavioral patterns we may have picked up as kids. The patterns are deeply embedded in our entire being. Lots of practice is required to overcome that. As one of my teachers, Dr. Richard Strozzi-Heckler says, “it takes 300 repetitions to create a new habit. 3000 repetitions to create the muscle memory. Knowledge is only a rumor until it’s in the body.”

In our culture, it’s common that we fear we’ll lose dignity, or not belong if we don’t meet certain societal or familial standards. There is a societal narrative about showing up “perfectly”. We are bombarded daily with hundreds, if not thousands, of examples of “perfection” on social media, TV, and in movies. There are countless times I’ve scrolled through Facebook, or LinkedIn, and thought to myself - “Wow, this person is doing incredible things/having incredible adventures. I shouldn’t post any updates because that will just confirm for the world how boring my life is. They (and presumably others) will think less of me.” Has that ever happened to you?

I believe it’s important that leaders recognize their level of fluidity through their body’s cues. Cultivating this awareness enables leaders to recognize what their physical and emotional bodies are ready for, what might more easily be achieved, what will likely be harder. Recognizing the fluidity in one’s own body can provide insight into your resilience with regards to the situation at hand. Developing this awareness strengthens your effectiveness as a leader. Let me provide some context about where I’m coming from.

I invite you to listen to your body. Your heart. Notice what becomes possible when your leadership originates from your heart and body.

What are you practicing? Get back up on your leadership bike and see what flows. Where is your glee? Where is the wind on your face?