What becomes possible without your armor? - August 2021
It’s astonishing to discover how much we armor ourselves. Sometimes we’re aware of the shields we put up. Sometimes we’re not.
A couple weeks ago I had a very intense osteopathy treatment that broke through deeply held layers of trauma. During the treatment, I relived moments and sensations from my near-fatal bicycle accident 7 years ago that I didn’t anticipate revisiting. Ever. The process also released armoring around my solar plexus and heart that I didn’t know was even there. I could feel it release physically. My heart space opened in a new way. I breathed more fully. I also sensed a deep knowing that I no longer needed to hold on to this armor. I wonder what will become possible without this armoring.
As one of my teachers, Cara Jones, says, “in order to lead others, we need to own more of these parts we diminish, tamp down or hide in order to be accepted.” I felt from a young age that I had to tamp down my creativity and channel it only in prescribed ways for it to be well-received. This seemed important for me to gain approval as a child, and later to be seen as a man.
The cost of this has been a severe restriction or limitation in how I express myself. How I gave myself permission to express myself. Moving outside this band of expression can still be edgy for me. Self-doubt and Inner Critic attacks can still arise. When that happens, my energy moves upwards and my heart re-armors itself. Although frankly, it feels suffocating to operate from here. “SET ME FREE!” says my heart. “Allow me to dance and sing!”
Perhaps you’re smiling knowingly to yourself as you read this, and you’ve felt what it’s like to hold yourself back. I believe that our culture’s tendency to reward operating from the head actually armors us, and encourages us to armor ourselves further.
To lead from your heart and body means bucking societal pressures and narratives around what it means to show up as a professional, and especially as a leader. While leading from your heart and body may make you feel more vulnerable, it can also make it easier to access the wisdom of your heart and body. Incorporating this wisdom into your leadership can positively impact your presence and your ability to inspire others. You’ll likely experience improved morale, more easeful collaboration and greater creativity because you’ll be meeting people from the perspective of shared humanity.
This is why I believe that as a leader, your heart and body are more important than your head
Digging deeper, when you release the layers of armor and respond from your heart and body, you can engage with life intentionally. You become aware of your body’s signals and you might more easily and more deeply connect with others because of this newfound level of self-awareness.
One aspect of this self-awareness is called interoception. It’s a rapidly growing area of research at the nexus of neuroscience and psychology. Interoception can help us understand and regulate emotional and physical states because you can monitor what’s going on in your body right now. Studies have shown that stronger interoception skills can help you intentionally respond to the situation at hand. In other words, strengthening your interoception skills makes it easier to reconnect to yourself. In turn, that makes it easier to connect more deeply with others, as a leader and as a human.
I invite you to consider, against what are you currently armoring yourself? What have you armored yourself against in the past? Does this armor still serve you?